Happy 2012!

Good riddance, 2011!

Started off the new year right: with vodka! My drink of choice. Yummm.

While I shouldn't complain, I was glad to see 2011 behind me.

And while we did get one great thing out of the year (our baby girl), there are definitely plenty of things I could've done without:

1) Deployment (and him missing all the holidays, and 6+ months of his baby's life)

2) Stress

3) Thyroid problems

4) Being stuck overseas for 2 months with no family support and a newborn to take care of

Also, to the things I miss...

1) Friends & family back home

2) My cousin, who was taken far too early from us from cancer. The same day our baby was born. (Talk about conflict of emotions!)

So, good bye, adios, chao, tschuss, 2011!

To look forward to in 2012:

1) Bavaria

2) London

3) BFF coming to visit us in Germany!!!

4) Cruise to Greece!

5) Moving to a new place!

[6) And more stress! Ugh!]

Closer!

We are leaving soon (so excited!!!!!!) but I still have a huge list to accomplish before the plane leaves the ground, yikes!

This is just to convey that my next post will be from Europe!

Almost there!!!!

Evelyn is 7 months!

Can't believe I just might have this ready on the correct day - and that this should be the last update on her before daddy comes home! Yay!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn is SUCH a tag girl! She finds them and eats them on anything. (On the flip side, it entertains her quite well!)

November 16, 2011

She is very alert, and notices everything.

She explores new things by hitting them with her hand and chewing/licked on them.

November 18, 2011

She loves attention and smiles at everyone!!

She is VERY active.

She eats food 3 times a day, with bottles in between.

She usually naps 2-3 times (sometimes only 1 if we're out and about for a while!)

She's starting to get more dependable on night-time sleeping, with a bed time between 830-930pm.

We are not on a set schedule, so it just depends on the day how much she eats or sleep.

She gets into everything already. 

November 29, 2011

December 7, 2011

She can crawl!

It started as a rock, and then a scootch, and shuffle. She's not impossibly fast yet, but definitely understands the movements!

December 8, 2011

She still loves her play mat, even though she is too big for it.

She just keeps playing like nothing happened if she turns it over on top of her!

December 8, 2011

She wants to stand!

She can't quite sit up yet, but oh so very close!

She does an interesting variation of downward facing dog sometimes while she crawls.

December 11, 2011

We have gone through all stage 1 fruits (except prunes) and veggies, and the main cereals.

We are working on stage 2 foods, in no particular order.
She loves veggies more than fruits, or sometimes refuses fruits entirely.
Squash is her favorite veggie, though she seems to love them all.
She loves to chew on her spoon after we eat.

December 9, 2011

She doesn't have teeth yet, but the first one is so close!
She has been chewing on her hands and toys a lot more than usual.
She can say "dada" "mama" and "baba" - and talks a lot!

~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn:

Wears size 3 diapers.
 Wears 6-9 month clothes, and some 9 months.
Her 6 months apt was Nov. 23; she weighed 18.6 pounds and was 28 inches tall!

3 Weeks Away!

In exactly 3 weeks! I will be very jet-lagged and sleep deprived (more than now) and spending my first night back in Germany! I am SO EXCITED, because with that huge embargo behind us, that leaves us with an unknown amount of DAYS before my husband is mine again!

With that said, that also leaves a countdown to the various European excursions we have planned before our big move back to the U.S.

Depending on when he gets back, we have to day trips/short trips we'd like to take on, including:

1) Paris, France
2) Koln, Germany
3) Strasbourg, France
4) Brussels, Belgium
5) Luxembourg

In January, we already have booked a room at Edelweiss Lodge & Resort to return to Bavarian Alps one last time. We are going to go see the castles again, not tour them this time, but just take pictures of them in the snow.

Neuschwanstein Castle

Hohoschwangau Castle

These two castles, for all intents & purposes are basically across the street from one another. It's crazy to think places like this exist when you come from a land that's not as old as these castles!

We also want to visit Zugspitz, the highest peak in Germany!

And on the list as well, is a detour (about a 2 hour drive) to Salzburg, Austria to do our very own Sound of Music Tour!!! Yes, yes... We are going to drive around Austria, and see some of the places they filmed at (and real life places) of the Von Trapp family!

We have toyed with the idea of visiting Innsbruck, Austria as well, but that will depend on time... We already have quite a bit to hit in a long weekend!

Evelyn is 6 months!

Sweet baby girl was 6 months on November 13, 2011!

Evelyn can...

Roll both ways, quick!

Get around alllll over the floor

November 3, 2011

Get on her hands & knees and rock

November 12, 2011

Jump like a pro in the jumperoo

October 29, 2011

Babble 2 syllable "words"

Squirm out of just about any kind of hold!
Discovered her feet!

November 12, 2011

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn...

Eats a veggie for lunch

Eating carrots! October 22, 2011

Cereal of dinner

Has tried all stage 1 veggies & cereals

Recognize & interact with daddy on skype!

November 11, 2011

LOVES attention - from anyone!

She is starting to show signs of attachment, crying when you turn your back or leave a room.
She loves tags! She finds them on everything, eats them. We got her a Taggies blanket, and she still finds the actual tag on it!

October 24, 2011

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn CAN sleep through the night, but doesn't always.
She now sleeps in a play pen on the bottom (not the bassinet anymore!)

She wears size 3 diaper.

She wears size 6 month, and 6-9 month clothes.
At her 6 month appointment (on Nov. 23) she was 28 inches long (98%) and 18 pounds 10 oz (86%)!

10 Day Challege: 8 Fears

1. Being Alone. By which, I mean, the unthinkable. Being a military wife with a husband deployed, you can draw your conclusions.

2. School shooting. Oh wait. I've lived through this one before...

3. Stopped in traffic on the highway and need to pee, but no cars are moving at all. Yes, this is for real.

                             

4. Spiders. (Really just bugs/animals that can cause pain or death...) One day, at our old apartment in Germany, there was a GIANT spider on the eve of the ceiling. It was so high up in the ceiling that we couldn't reach it to just spray it/kill it. We attempted to hit it by standing on furniture and trying to smoosh it with a swiffer. It fell. Into our COUCH. And we couldn't get it out to confirm it was dead. We banged it, flipped it, I would have thrown it out the window had my husband let me... I even covered every inch of that couch in toxic Woolite. I had to work the next day, and didn't sleep. My husband, also afraid of spiders, swears he got it out while I was at work. To this day, I don't know if he did, or if he just told me that. Even still, I didn't sit on that couch until after we moved...

(I am not posting a picture b/c it freaked me out to google search it.)

5. Being unhealthy. And all the issues that can cause.

6. Financial problems!!! Things cost money. And it's always a lot! I'm a thrifty shopper, but not a crazy one. It doesn't take much to set the spiral going... I will be SO GLAD when my school loans are paid off (Hello 15 years? Or is it 10?) Of course, by that point, we'll likely have a 2nd car payment, and hopefully a house... YIKES!

7. Getting mugged, raped, attacked, and/or murdered... This is what my nightmares are made of...

8. Not having enough time. So much to do, so little time. It's worse with a kid. I hope I never forget to slow down and enjoy the little things...

Grawr

I have been such an angry, frustrated, stressed out, grouch. I need a schedule for my life. I need something more immediate to look forward to besides the screeching that drives me crazy, and a seemingly interminable 2 months before I head back to Germany (and then who knows how I wait). I'm pretty sure I need to go to the dentist, but we screwed up and never listed me on the insurance, so I can't go. Things are going crazy for the cruise, and it's tempting me to cancel it all together. I just need a large drink tonight. I have zero patience lately, and I'm bored, which makes me lazy, and then unmotivated. Today was a good day, and then it all went to shit, and snowballed, so now I'm just sick of all these emotions. And I really hate being so angry all the time.

Why does everything have to be so freaking hard and such a challenge to do? I need a break from life!

10 Day Challenge: 9 Loves

So, of course, after posting the last blog, I have discovered like 5 more (better) secrets I could have listed instead of some of the ones I picked. But alas, on to 9 loves! (...in no particular order!)

9. First and foremost: My husband! And with that, comes my baby girl!

June 26, 2011

8. My friends and family. To me, they are one in the same. If you are a friend of mine, you've become my family, and I value that with the utmost respect.  Our little circle of friends, has grown to quite literally, friends becoming my family. One of hubby's best friends from high school is now dating one of my best friends from college,  and another of his friends from high school married my cousin. I only wish the hubs and I still lived in the area, because it is so difficult keeping in touch from so far away!

June 2 or 3, 2010. This is not the picture I wanted, but it's close enough. All our friends & family in a circle belting out the Beatles while slightly (or highly) intoxicated.

7. Traveling! I love living in Europe because of the opportunities it has given us to see the world! We have been to Paris, Italy, Bavaria, and various German cities, and driven through Switzerland, Austria, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands. How many Americans can say they took a spontaneous trip to Disneyland Paris exactly 1 year ago? Not many. But we did!

6. My favorite way to travel? Road trips! Yes, I love sitting in the car for hours on end and just seeing things. Our beautiful country has so much to see! SO MUCH, and one of my goals in life is to visit every single state! My favorite road trip? Left Pheonix, drove through Salt Lake City, into Idaho, over into Wyoming, visited the Grand Tetons & Yellowstone, then into Montana, across in Washington state, up into British Columbia, Vancouver is AWESOME by the way, then toured Seattle, and then around the Olympic Peninsula (yes, I have been to Forks, Washington), Mt. St. Helens, down into Oregon, then into California to see the Redwoods & San Francisco, and then south to head home. 8 days. We saw SO MUCH, and yet missed out on so much. Got to see a beach sunset in every state on the west coast. Learned that in Oregon, it's illegal to pump your own gas. My car drove through a tree. We saw snow in June, and then discovered the car had no heat (or defrost). It was so, so awesome. I hope we get to do it again, someday.

June, 2009. Wyoming, USA.

5. Harry Potter. Yes, I am a geek. I do enjoy reading, when the mood strikes. The books are amazing, and I have read the last 3 multiple times each, though I can't recall how many time, exactly, and I want to read the entire series back to back (soon!) The movies are awesome, until you realize how much they changed stuff from the book, so I try not to think about it. I will have my last and final copy of Harry Potter on DVD November 11th.

4. Driving. When there's no one else on the roads, and I don't have to worry about speeding.

2010 Ford Fusion in front of a graffiti wall in Germany

3. My shows. I don't have as many as I used to back in high school, but I love me some Glee, How I Met Your Mother, and Big Bang Theory!

2. Music. With this comes dancing. Even though I can't dance. Definitely love any kinda of music that makes me want to move! Or sing...

December, 2008. See, I can't dance. And the look on my face says I know it, but just don't care...

1. Chik-fil-a. What was the one thing this chick wanted while she was preggo? Chik-fil-a. Never once could satisfy that craving, and now, I have it about once a week... Same with Starbucks... (Europe has its downsides!)

10 Day Challege: 10 Secrets

I stole this from Adventures with Alexandra, who stole this from Connecticut Cupcake! It sounded like a good, fun idea, so here we go!

10. I hate being scared. Really. It's not fun. There is no point. If you were ever in a situation where being scared was for real, it would hinder you from getting out of said situation and back to safety. I also think anger is pointless - usually stresses you out, and really doesn't get you anywhere.

09. I want a tattoo. Or two. Or three. I was going to get my first one on my right foot (Huskie paw print!) when I was in Illinois. I even had a friend to get a tattoo with, so I wouldn't be all alone. But we sorta ran out of time, and had a lack of transportation to get there.

08. Long distance relationships really can work. Just look at me and the hubby. Still have spent more time apart than together. (Depressing, but true.) It's not easy, it's not fun, it's not ideal. But, he's worth it. (On a side note, it also drives me insane when people complain about being a 2 hour drive apart, and not being able to see each other every weekend. I want to inflict a all-knowing bitch-slap across their face so they just "Get it" and shut up, and then cherish what they have.)

07. I absolutely do not want an electronic book thingy. This is because I love the way real new books smell, and feel. (I am also pretty against Blu-rays as I have everything on DVDs - and even more on VHS's that I will never be able to watch, thank you very much.)

06. I am addicted to facebook. Seriously, I miss facebook lite.

05. I still watch cartoons. Not for my child, for me. (My excuse is that I didn't have cable growing up.)

04. I wish I had more motivation. For everything. There is just so much to do everyday, that I get overwhelmed and kinda shut down. I make lists, and they're so long, I can never accomplish enough, and then sometimes feel even worse!

03. I'm pretty sure something's wrong with me. In my head, I mean. (Adult ADD, maybe?)

02. I want to re-read the entire Harry Potter series, back to back. Talk about amazingness!

01. I am basically a nomad. I have been for years. College in one state, my home in another. Now, I live where the military sends us. (Germany!) But I still have all my stuff in multiple places... I would love to get them all in one place, and finally make that place a real home! I can't wait!

Evelyn is 5 months!

Evelyn turned 5 months on October 13! I know I haven't done this AT ALL for the first few months, but I'm gonna try to keep up from here on out!

Evelyn can:

Roll both ways

Shake a rattle (with great enthusiasm!)
Put everything in her mouth

September 21, 2011

Sit with support

Sleep all night (when she wants to)

Eats 5-7 oz bottles

Open her mouth when hungry

Stand in your lap with surprising strength in her legs (yikes!)

Babble - a lot!

Kick - a lot more!

October 11, 2011

Lift her head all the way up while on her tummy

Evelyn likes:

September 23, 2011

Toys that make noise
Movement

Food!

Music - she always turns her head when Glee is playing and a song starts!

September 23, 2011

Attention! From anybody! She definitely loves to flirt with the boys, though!

Evelyn:

is swaddled when she goes to bed.
discovered her tongue.

September 21, 2011

went from size 2 to size 3 diapers this month.

wears 6 month clothes, but is moving into 6-9.

is 27.5 inches (99% ile) and 16.5 pounds (75% ile) as of 10/10/11!

October 8, 2011

sits in the bath tub now (with support)
is very active - always wants to move, and does not like being contained.
notices everything!
started balding all a sudden at the end of September, and it's finally coming back!
ate rice cereal for the first time on October 12, 2011!

October 12, 2011

Travels:

This month, we were in Illinois, San Antonio, Texas, and Arizona!

Exhausted

Man, I really hope to get some good sleep tonight... It's been weeks, if not over a month, since I've had a good nights sleep...

San Antonio, Texas!

This trip was the second time I flew from Chicago to San Antonio for the purposes of an Air Force Basic Graduation. This time, my nephew, Anthony graduated.  We were in San Antonio from Sept. 22-25. My sister, Laura and I flew together and met my mom at the airport.  We then took a cab (yes, all 3 of us and the baby strapped to my front in her carrier) rode in the PRIUS in the back seat to our hotel. Laura and I then proceeded to go to the pool, and waited for my sister and the family to get back from base.

It was a crazy weekend, very busy, and we got to travel in a 15-passenger bus with all the kids. Actually more fun than it sounded!

Friday was the graduation, got to see his barracks, had lunch/dinner, he wanted to go the mall off-base.

During the ceremony. He is somewhere in that group of guys holding the flags.

Saturday, we chilled at the hotel, went to the Riverwalk/The Alamo (it was sooo hot), and had dinner out.

Anthony, my mom, myself & the baby, and my sister Laura posing on the Riverwalk!

It was SUPER HOT that weekend, especially Sunday when we were taking pictures. And even though the whole weekend was supposed to be about my nephew, I'll admit, I was very reminiscent of the fact that four year prior, I was walking around the same places with my then boyfriend... I just kept thinking, "Four years already?!"

Sunday we all had to stay on base, so checked out the BX, shoppette, the bowling alley, and then had to say our goodbyes and head to the airport.

My sister and her husband with their 6 kids all together once more! 

It was so great to see everybody! With all my family spread out all over the country (and me not even IN this country usually), it's really hard to see everybody from Atlanta anymore. Hoping to make it there before I head back to Germany, but for now, I'll take what I can get!

So blessed we had the chance to make it to Anthony's BMT Graduation!

Stomach Bug!

My 100th blog...

...is about my poor sick baby girl.

I am pretty worried about her. Poops in every diaper for 48-72 hours now. She's definitely not eating very much. Took her to the doctor yesterday. She puked [literally] all over the both of us this morning (ew! and also, double EW - I HATE puke...)

So, this has been my enjoyment for the week. Only puke once, but the rest is a warm, not-herself baby, and lots of poopy diapers.

Oh, the joy of being a mother!

(I think I just provided some extra birth control for some people, huh?)

Whirlwind of Traveling

Traveling with an infant is certainly an adventure - you never know what to expect, and even just a few weeks makes a HUGE difference!

Well, the giant hiatus between blogs should indicate that we made it to the states! Flying with her on the military flight went surprisingly well - no sleep for about 4 days, but she got enough to get by, and it was very manageable.  I arrived at the airport no more than 1 hour before the boys got there. I camped out in the USO waiting for their text on my ipod app that they were there waiting for me.  They drove all night to get there.

It kinda went down hill from there.

We met up with my cousin that night (Thursday) and made plans to head into DC the next day (Friday). Well around 1230am, the baby woke up (thinking it was 630am in Germany).  I rewrapped her, put her back into her pack & play, and that's when the hell started. A bug was crawling in my bed. I woke up my nephew David, he killed it. We stared at it.

It was a bed bug (We googled pics to be sure.).

Panic ensued. We checked as much as we could, turned our clothes inside out, and got the EFF out of there!

We decided it was best to head straight home, ditching our cousin, leaving at about 230am and driving all night to return to Illinois. No lie, this seriously sucked. None of us had any sleep, and I was no help because I was so exhausted that I was disoriented when I stood up.

We then go to go to the laundry mat, put EVERYTHING in super hot dryers, threw out book bags and anything else we could part with, got a mini-steamer, and then steam cleaned EVERYTHING. It was absolutely a disaster, and at this point, even though we took as much precaution as possible, it could be months before we know for sure we didn't bring any live ones with us.

Thankfully, it hasn't all been that. Hectic, though. Met a million different people.

The trip to San Antonio was crazy too, but that will be for another post!

Packing

More whining. Sorry.

But seriously. How on earth are you supposed to pack 2 people's stuff for 4 months into one bag? I feel so defeated right now. I am hurting, I can hardly see straight, It's 1am. I still have more to get organized and somehow be able to take it with me. Oh my, this is so not fun. And if I don't fly out tomorrow, I then, what? Have to bring it back up 4 flights of stairs? The stroller is in the trunk, so I can't just hide it in there...

I just want to be back home. Why does it have to be so stressful to get me there?!

All right, I'll be honest:

Of course this sucks.

Think about where I am right now.

I am sitting on the floor in our 2 bedroom 1 bathroom 4th floor stairwell apartment in base housing.

[Read: Dorms for people who are slightly more mature than college kids. But with kids.]

It's hot. It's humid. There's no air conditioning. I am in Germany.

My husband is in the shit.

I have a 3.5 month old.

My close family, close friends are easily at least 5,000 miles away.

I am not the person who asks for help.

I am incredibly stressed.

For the first time in my life, I really do have high blood pressure.

(Though, that should go away once I get back home.)

I eat like crap, I sleep like crap. I can hardly get any "real' workouts in. So I feel like crap.

I think about it all, and it makes me feel like more crap.

And then I realize that we're stuck.

We're going to be a career military family.

Always moving, always uprooting, always having to say goodbye, always worrying.

We chose this life; I love my  husband. I love our daughter, I love our life together. I love the opportunities that we have.

But man, those trade offs, really, really suck.

{END PITY FEST}

T-minus 5 days

until I attempt to leave this country.  I still have a disaster of a house, packing, organizing, cleaning, 2 social "events," things to put on hold/transfer/cancel, and high blood pressure (yikes!) to manage until then. I am set for a hop, I have a ride lined up, I have some plane tickets bought for Anthony's basic graduation next month. I am SO READY to be back in the good ol' United States!

The whole single mom, managing everything, living on the fourth floor, stuck in a foreign country with not a good local support system thing? Yeah. No fun. Really, deployments when stationed overseas? Not a good idea. This is so not good for me; I have never felt so stressed, unhealthy, and vulnerable in my life.

Hopefully, time will start passing faster - just until January! After that we have visitors, trips, a "honeymoon," and moving to worry about. Then with the move comes getting moved IN, getting settled, finding a job, finding a day care, and wow.

Time really does fly way too quick!

Also, just about everybody I know is pregnant! I am so glad hubby isn't here, because I sooo don't want to catch whatever's in the water!

Stressed!

Well, it's good to see that things are finally coming together...

Kind of.

Monday morning, the hubbin called me (woke me up) to inform me he needed me to run to base.  Since we are PCSing next year, I've already had to do some errands for him to get his paperwork going... so half asleep, this is what I assume, and ask him what he needs me to do. He said, "I need to you to stop by the passport office and pick up her passport."

YES! It came!

I replied, "Yeah, I can do that."

I get there. They tell me it's "very important" that I go to the OTHER passport office to get some card. I figure, ok, it's a card, how long can it take? So I head over there the next day - early, since I wanted to get my errands done early.

They were closed. Turns out, they are only open 2 and a half hours for 4 days a week - that's ONLY 10 hours/week and they process all army passports, and now have to take all the AF cards, too! Upon further research online, I discover that the average wait time there is 3 hours to be seen! 3 hours! All I needed was this damn card!

I return the next day (early, before they open) and was seen right away. The entire thing took me less than 5 minutes since I already had a passport.... and just needed the card to go in it. But without this card I can't leave.

I discovered Thursday night, when signing up to take a military flight... that they screwed up said card. They transcribed her pp# incorrectly, so now I have to go back AGAIN and hope I luck out and don't have to wait 3 hours so they can fix THEIR mistake. Grrr. 4 trips to 2 passport offices for this? Ridiculous!

I am slowly getting things taken care of, but the house is still a mess, and I still have a hefty to-do list before I leave.  It's essentially a stand-by flight I'm taking (have you seen how expensive flights are to/from Europe - let alone LAST MINUTE flights to/from Europe?!), and they are entirely unpredictable (as they should be given they are military flights), so therefore, it's all just a shot in the dark if I get out when I want to or not. I have a narrow window of when I can be met at the airport though, and the airport will not be my final destination, so I'm starting to get a little stressed out!

Which is a total understatement!

But [some] plans are starting to come together, and that is getting me really excited! I can't wait to FINALLY be back stateside with family, friends - and most importantly, a support system!

Light at the end of the tunnel!

Tuesday mid-day, I got a lovely call from the hubby! He informed me he received an email from the Frankfurt consulate informing him that the passport has been processed and will be on it's way to our base shortly.

Now, we had never, EVER heard of the consulate sending out emails, so we were both confused, and honestly, we're still a bit in shock.

BUT, good news nonetheless! We hear it takes about a week for it to get here, and so I am starting on my final list of "things to do" before I go. Some, of course, can't be done until last minute, but for now, I am doing what I can, and making plans in the states and that makes me incredibly excited!\

Hubs and I are also looking at cruises for next spring! We never took a honeymoon - because we had to move me here - and I was preggo for the cruises this past spring (not that we would've been able to afford it then, anyways), BUT our top choice is the cruise to GREECE! KR's mom has offered to come here and babysit for us so cruise to Greece - JUST THE TWO OF US!

Yeahhhh, baby! Honeymoon 2 years later!

Gotta get that taken care of too before I leave.

So basically, busy busy busy now!

And still waiting for the email that says it is actually HERE!

Shitty Day

First things first: appointment went well. Well, as well as it good. They are doing 1 test, and hopefully it will come back normal and we'll move on...

Secondly, shitty day. No passport, no promotion, enter feelings of helplessness/strandedness/loneliness. The promotion alone, we honestly did not expect; however, it represented "good news,"  and morale is miserably low for us right now, and we really, really needed something to raise our spirits.

But nope. No such luck. Guess God wants us miserable and pissed off even longer.

Because why on earth should we deserve some good news?

(PS: He's been doing the job of a ssgt for years now. Yup. So why on earth wouldn't he get promoted when he can already do their job? Ghey.)

And the fact that my husband still isn't online probably means his base is getting attacked again. Seriously.

Ugh, can it be January yet?

Weekend Happenings

I am aware that it is TUESDAY already, but here's what happened this weekend:

Friday: I met up with Karla, another woman who lives walking distance from me whose husband is gone - not as long, not in a dangerous place, but she has 2 kids, and they're driving her crazy. We frequently run our errands together just for some company. It's quite nice. Anyways, we met around noon to run some errands.  Friday, 1425, I walked into the movie theater (received some dirty looks) with my 2.5 month old infant. I busted out my cooler of pre-made bottles, swaddled her up, and tried to feed her. She just looked at me & played with her bottle. Uh-oh.

The previews started. It was LOUD. Even to me, it was loud! She was scared. So, scared. And then the lights went out. She scared whining/crying. I was seriously discouraged - I almost left right there.  I immediately stood up, walked to the back, and started rocking her. She quieted down quickly; no one would have heard her yet, and it was only the previews anyways. By the time the movie started, I inched my way back to my seat, and was able to sit down. She refused her bottle, and was out right away. I rocked her the entire movie, and I only saw her eyes pop open once! I got to enjoy Harry Potter 7.2 on the big screen with my baby girl, and survived to tell the story - and actually got to pay attention to the movie, too!

Saturday was a lazy day. Did stuff around the house, boring, boring.

Sunday I went to lunch with the Woodham's & their 2 boys. It was very nice. They are a tad older than us, and so they understand & relate to the whole deployed thing. They've done it twice now, and are also PCS-ing a couple months before us. They are so sweet, glad to have met them!

My baby girl smiling at her daddy on Skype last night! Made his day!

Wowww.

So, this is not usually my kind of post, but I am wasting my life away re-designing my blog, and I came across the best underwear. I seriously want them.

Not that my husband would take the time to appreciate what they actually said upon his return from downrange...

Husband!

It should be noted that I absolutely adore my husband, and I really, really cannot wait until I am back in his arms.

1 month!

It's been 1 month since the hubby left! In retrospect, that seems so long, but each week seems like it's flying. The days, though, not so much!

My birthday party was fun - at least for me, and hopefully everyone else enjoyed themselves. I am a little more laid back when it comes to get togethers (I am perfectly happy watching movies with someone, so "activities" are not necessary for me). I had decorations and plenty of food, and of course cake. I still haven't cleaned up, or finished taking down the streamers. I'll get there. Lord knows I have time!

My birthday itself (Monday) was rather a downer.  I didn't have plans, I didn't see Harry Potter (decided to watch the first part again, which I still have not done!) I think I ran to base, checked the mail, walked around the BX, and left. I was really bummed out.

Tuesday I got some bad news from the hospital, and after searching online, apparently it's not as "bad" as I thought, but either way, I get to do further testing next week to make sure everything is ok. And that has really shaken my spirit & my faith even more because I HATE doctors, and really, really don't want to do this. I also have to have someone babysit Miss Evelyn, and drive to the hospital all by myself and be a big girl with no one to hold my hand. =/ So, we are praying for the best with that one, because if it's not just a false alarm, this could make life REALLY interesting with me going home and the hubby being gone and such...

Other than that, my goal for tomorrow is simply this: See Harry Potter! They added another showing across the way, so I am so stoked! Someone even offered to babysit b/c it's during her kid's naptimes, so I might take her up on that... I haven't decided... I feel guilty leaving her for a movie, but... a break might be nice!

That's it for now, hoping to see the hubs on Skype soon, but it looks like that won't be happening, and so it's time to start Harry Potter 7.1!

Birthday Weekend!

Well, this time last year, the hubby & I were on the Autobahn on our way to Bavaria to stay in Edelweiss! What a big change this year! This weekend, it's gloomy, rainy, I am in Germany with the baby, hubby is "in the shit" as we so affectionately call it.

That being said, I decided to throw myself a party! Well, as much of a party as a bunch of moms can really have, anyways. Even still, I'm drinking! Huzzah!

I have spent today spastically preparing for company.  I got the cake make, but must still decorate it. I have the house cleaned, just need to tidy up a few lose things here & there.  I still need to make the spaghetti & meatballs & marshmallow salad - hoping to have most of everything ready before people arrive tomorrow evening so I can enjoy my company, rather than cooking the entire time! I also must put out my meager decorations, and run to the commissary! And perhaps get gas. But we'll see...

Needless to say, caffeine has been my friend this week, or else it would be impossible to get the whole place ready to go! It seriously has taken me all week to get this place clean! How sad...

And Monday, my actual birthday, I will be celebrating by being "that mom" and dragging my 2.5 month old to see Harry Potter with me!

Sooo excited!

Update!

Oh my, this is really hard to do... keep a blog, while taking care of a little one and managing a house (if only a small one) all by myself.  Some days, I am just so lucky to get a shower and perhaps eat 3 meals. Never mind clean anything.

That being said, I'm sure you can guess that we STILL don't have her passport, and even though we went and tried to find out if there's a way to get it faster (there's not), they are still adamantly telling us another 4-8 weeks. This, unfortunately, puts me leaving at the beginning of September (at the earliest!) - no matter what - and that severely (for lack of a better word) fucks with all my tentative plans! I am not a happy camper, and neither are many other people in the states anxiously awaiting when they can FINALLY hold their grandchild.

The part that irks me that most is that had we applied for her passport in the states at a passport office, we would've gotten in back in a month, tops. Not only that, but had we wanted to, we would've been able to pay an extra fee and had it expedited (we would have) and it would have been returned to us in a week or two, tops! Here, where we are most desperately wanting her passport for the sole reason of returning 2 heartbroken, love-sick Americans to their families in AMERICAN for support while the husband is deployed, I must wait an excruciating 3-4 months in a foreign country all by my lonesome self. It's not like I can go to Target one day and Kohl's the next, and the mall the day after that. I have the BX and the commissary to occupy my time, and both get rather old rather quickly. I may have a few friends, but they all have their own things to do that it's difficult to set up anything too often. I also don't have much going on to pass the time quickly. Yes, I'm busy b/c of the baby, but it gets very monotonous and never being able to take a break really wears on you! It's not like I can plan little day trips (b/c I'm deathly afraid to drive anywhere other than where I absolutely must go) or have people coming to visit me to break up the weeks. Had we been stationed in the states, I'd have plenty of people to visit me should I have chosen to stay home - better yet, I wouldn't have had to wait a painful amount of time to travel because I could just get on a plane and GO!

It makes me so upset sometimes that I am so stranded... You don't even know. I just want to get home to my family. Why is that so much to ask?

Phew!

This whole pseudo "single-mom" thing is really taking its toll.  The baby has seemingly regressed. Last night, she woke up every 1.5 hours. Twice, it was not even 30 minutes later she woke up. It was a VERY rough night, as I do  not function with  little sleep, and short naps really don't cut it. I've got a migraine coming (already) that can only be cured with, well, sleep.

During the day, however, she seems to be doing better, though I still have no discernible schedule appearing. Le sigh. Almost... but the KR left. :/

That's about it for now... Haven't had much time to do, well, anything, so there's not much to update otherwise!

Bored.

Very bored.

Need human social interaction.

Need to go HOME!

I'm all alone... with no one there beside me...

Yup. He's on a plane. I'm sitting in our apartment. It sucks.

The passport people need to hurry up, because I want to get the eff out of this country and back to a familiar/comfortable surrounding ASAP!

Boo!

It's Monday in 8 minutes.

That means the day I've been dreading for 4 months is almost here.  And then my desperate countdown to 1) the arrival of the baby's passport and 2) the new year begins. I hate wanting to rush through the first few month's of my baby's life.

But I wish even more that KR could be there to be a part of it.

This girl has already spent waaaaay too much time in front of a computer screen on Skype.

Time is Flying By!

First off: Our little miss is already 5 weeks old! I should do monthly posts, but I'll be lucky to write the stuff in her keepsake book. She is in her swing now, not really asleep, not really awake. Hopefully, I'll have enough time to get something done...

KR leaves in 8 days. Boo. Very upset about this. Have no idea how long I'll be stuck here before I can go home. Hopefully, I'll be able to find something to do to keep myself from going crazy... I miss social interaction as it is, and KR's here. Just wish we coulda been in the states when he deployed so I could at least have an easier job getting around. Ugh. Here's to hoping & wishing & praying her passport comes a lot faster than the 10-14 weeks they predicted.

Also, Miss Evelyn is holy! We had her baptized yesterday at the chapel. All of... her parents were there to celebrate. I invited some of our friends over for cake & company but nobody wanted to. :/ I know it was Father's Day and all, but that was still rather depressing. I have a feeling it's going to be a long and lonely few months until I can get the eff out of this country.

Guess that's it for now - I have pictures to order!

What if?

...So we were FINALLY able to apply for the baby's passports yesterday...  And KR tests and goes back to work tomorrow. I am so thankful he took this extra time off to stay home with me (and run a million errands, ugh).  Hopefully he'll pass his test tomorrow and he'll be staff select! ...Not that we'll know right away; we'll have to wait until AUGUST to find out. Oh, anticipation!

Anyways. Passport office.  They told us 10-14 weeks to get her passport back.  Kyle's leaving in 3-4 weeks. That's a whole long time that I have to stay in a foreign country all by myself when I'm still phobia-scared to DRIVE. Not to mention generally being ALONE for all that time when I'm still in that "at risk" time for post-partum depression, my cousin just died, and my husband is leaving for a deployment in the shit.  I am VERY upset about everything right now; I don't have much patience for anything, and generally, I just want to cry. A lot. Why do I have to stick around here? Why can't it just come quickly and I skip town and be surrounded by my closest friends & family? Why put me through all the added stress of keeping me trapped here all alone? I don't get why the fates & God want me stuck here. I feel a panic starting just thinking about it. Seriously. And I'm even more worried because I know how I get by myself - add the newborn responsibilities, and I'm seriously scared I won't be able to do it.  What if I can't? And what if I don't realize that until after he's gone? I already want to give up way too quick, and he's still HERE all the time to help me... But emotionally, I just can't deal.

*Sighs*

In other news, KR's step brother killed himself a couple weeks ago.  You'd think this would be upsetting in the traditional sense, but KR is more ticked off because of how it affected his mom's & sister's ability to come visit (and see their first neice/grand child, respectively), as if he had waiting like 2 days, they would've had their plane tickets instead of being stuck having to wait for me to come visit to see her. I, myself, still haven't dealt with Carina's passing, and I don't even know how to feel about this one.

Too much!!!

There's either too much or nothing going on... It can never just be... the right amount of shit that's manageable. Ugh.

Evelyn Joyce!

Ok, so let's try this blogging thing while the baby sleeps. She will probably wake up as soon as I get about half way through, though. Hah!

It all started Thursday, May 12, 2011.  My water broke about 6am when I went potty for the millionth time that night. I was basically freaking out. KR slept on the couch that night to let me get some sleep. So I called the hospital, calmed myself down, got dressed, and THEN woke him up.  I fully expected to be hurting right away b/c they say contractions come fast and hard after your water breaks. (They also say it's not too common for your water to break FIRST. I was only have braxton hicks when my water broke, so why that happened, we really don't know.)

I showered, ate, cleaned, packed, and we got to the hospital just after 8am. Still barely having contractions. There was only a few people on the floor, and most were gone after just a couple hours. Then they tested to make sure it WAS my water that broke (it was), and told me I was only 1cm, not very thinned out, and contractions were WAY far apart.  I was GBS+ so I had to get an IV for a penicillin drip. I should've known this was going to be a long day after this ordeal... The girl who did my IV (who had somebody shadowing her, btw) burst not one, but 2 veins, and the IV had to go just under my thumb. It wasn't very pleasant. KR's face looked horrified, apparently, the first vein squirted everywhere... her, me, the floor, dripping down my arm... And we all know how much I HATE NEEDLES. Then I got my first bag of antibiotics.

Then, the DR came to talk to me... It was probably noon now - no better  on contractions. Since my water broke (and that's  yet another infection risk) they didn't want to check me until absolutely necessary, so no idea on "progress" but it wasn't likely.  They wanted to put me on pitocin right away... I was hesitant, though who knows why. Two babies were already born by this point. I should note it was very comforting hearing the women in the neighboring rooms screaming as I wait for it to happen to me. I turned down the pitocin and asked if I could walk to try to get things started first. This was when I was told I had at least 24 hours of labor to go. They let me - and also suggested hot showers. Walking helped a little, showering helped a LOT. I ended up taking 4 showers while I was there. Contractions were closer, but still not technically close enough to do anything. Had my water not broken, they weren't close enough to get me admitted to the hospital yet. That didn't happen until probably 8pm ish. About that time, I was hurting enough where I didn't want to get in the shower anymore, I didn't want to get out of bed, or even hobble to go potty. I was trying to stay strong... but it hurt. It hurt EVERYWHERE.

I started asking about the epidural around midnight, I think. It was definitely getting to the point of unbearable, although the nurse kept trying to get me to hold out, and kept trying to tell me that I wasn't even in active labor yet. (Seriously, it hurt that bad, and it wasn't even ACTIVE labor?!) Later KR told me the nurse said when your water breaks, contractions hurt much more b/c there are no waters in you to "cushion" the contractions... so you feel them ALL. Go me!

I got the epidural around 3am. By this point I was shaking uncontrollably - nurse said that was the normal reaction to getting to "active" labor. It was no fun. The epidural helped immediately, though it was crazy not being able to move the lower part of my body.  KR and I were both able to sleep about 2 hours... before I was woken up by contractions starting to hurt even more. I told the nurse. She told me that was normal. Boo.

By this point, I was on my 4th bag of penicillin... What would be my last! My arm started to burn... Really bad, esp. right around my IV. I almost had them move the IV it was hurting so bad.  After some time, we came to find out that that the bag of penicillin contained chemicals that was burning the inside of my veins - and I only just noticed it b/c it slowly wore away after the first 3 bags of penicillin... They also realized that the bag was really cold... The nurse put a warm compress on my arm, which helped, but somewhere while I was hooked up, I started shaking uncontrollably again - but this time because I was cold.  I thought it was from the cold bag of drugs going into my arm; the nurse worried it was from a fever starting because of an infection.  My temp did creep up a bit, but managed to stay below the "bad" point that would send me to an emergency c-section. Shaking was no fun, though, it was really scary, actually, and the nurse didn't want to cover me up too much because if it was a fever, covering me up would only make the fever worse in the long run.

Once I stopped shaking, the contractions started hurting again. And oh, boy, did they hurt! I did get an extra little dose of the epidural, and I felt my feet go numb, but it didn't really help where I wanted it... I ended up in excruciating pain after that. We're talking, screaming, crying, pleading, couldn't stay calm. I quite literally would not have made it through without my husband - he tried to keep me focused, but it hurt so bad that even keeping my eyes locked on his I couldn't always make it through the contractions without trying to rush it. Still, the nurse said that was normal... I still call bullshit on that.

 I went from 2cm to 8cm in roughly the 2 hours I slept... That's impressive progress, though I would've rather it take longer and my epidural block more of the pain. I ended up having to beg them to let me push... Actually, I had to have KR go TELL them I was pushing because they kept telling me to wait and I simply couldn't. Pushing wasn't bad though.... I could feel it all, though.. I knew when... well, I knew. Let's just leave it at that.

We didn't get to hold her right away b/c of all the risks for infection... it was at least an hour before we got to hold her.  In that hour, I got tortured. They kept pushing on my belly which made me cry and twitch again, and then I had some procedure waaay UP there b/c I had issues with bleeding or something... I didn't tear or need stitches, but whatever they did to me, I could barely move the entire weekend. I needed help to go to the bathroom and KR had to practically carry me up the stairs to our apartment Sunday night b/c I simply couldn't do it.

At 0832 on May 13, 2011, her due date, Evelyn Joyce was born at 21.5 inches long, weighing 9 pounds even.

When the started unhooking me, the nurse said, "Ummm... How long has the epidural been turned off?"

......

After being moved to the mother-baby unit, apx. 1130, we caught word that my beautiful cousin, Carina passed away shortly after Evelyn was born after a 15 month battle with leukemia.

Talk about a bittersweet day.

Oh boy!

...Or girl?

Man, I have GOT to get an update up here, soon!

But I have simply not had time to write what I want to write.

Blogs that are upcoming:

1) Evelyn's birth story
2) Wedding re-cap in honor of our first anniversary

Beyond that, simply know life is crazy, and bad things come in 3 - so who's next?

Yes, I said, who.

Miss R

...is still not here! Sorry to excite you!

There is some progress, as I am now 2cm dilated, but still 75% effaced. However, for the first time (seriously, I think ever in my life) my blood pressure was "borderline high".  139/77. I had no other worrisome symptoms, so they aren't doing anything quite yet, but I'm fairly certain if it's still high by the time I go to my appointment next week, they will induce me. Yikes! It was a bad weekend for food - ate out twice, and had lots of high sodium meals, which I know can affect blood pressure. I'm just super glad I didn't drink any pop before the appointment or no doubt, the caffeine would have raised my blood pressure even more! Otherwise, I am really not too worried about it - between worrying about my cousin and the little bit of drama from our neighbors nearby that really upset me, and the obvious things to get anxious about right now, I'm sure I'm just stressed. Just hoping I can calm down before it ends up effecting me or the baby negatively.

We may have guests for her baptism, too! Nothing is definite, and we aren't getting our hopes up, but it would be nice to see familiar "homely" faces!

I am definitely slowing down and hurting more, depending on the day, at least. I have myself waking up/getting woken up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep for an hour or so - no, not the baby kicking me - usually KR's alarm... I really hate to say it, but I sleep so much better when he isn't in the bed with me... =/ I really hate that fact because 1) I REALLY need my sleep. L&D is not going to be a breeze so I need all the energy I can save up! 2) My nights of sleeping in the same bed with my husband are limited, so I don't want to waste them!

Oh, to be torn!

Anyways, it's bed time. Or at least time to get off the computer, as this chair absolutely swells my feet something terrible!

Mother's Day!

Well, it's Mother's Day, 2011. Still pregnant, though only a few times have I thought it was possibly going to be the day. Today would've been nice - because she would've been born on Mother's Day and Baptized on Father's Day, and that would've been one creepy but awesome coincidence. I guess the day isn't over yet, technically.

Otherwise, she is just rolling around in there - I am fairly certain she thinks all she needs to do is kick her away out of my belly. I am also fairly certain this girl is gonna be TALL with long legs. She has absolutely no problem stretching out right now, so I find it amusing when people keep saying, "They are so comfortable in their tiny space," I just want to laugh and show them my belly and ask, "Then why does she always stretch out like this?"

We need to miss Wednesday and Friday this week, though (no pressure, girl). KR has training/testing on both of those days, and unfortunately, it is VERY crucial he make it to both - Wednesday's he might not even be able to get out of at ALL. So that is making me nervous.

Tomorrow is my next appointment. We'll see how that goes.

Again, continue to pray for my cousin's miraculous recovery. She is now at home with her husband - off antibiotics and chemo, and on pain and nausea meds.  The doctors "say" about 2 weeks, and even then only because she is "young." My heart goes out to her amazing husband, John, who has stuck by her side through all this.  He, especially needs support through all this. His birthday was Friday.  They are both younger than me, and it absolutely breaks my heart. Talk about learning a life lesson. =/

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Whirlwind of Events!

Even putting aside the world news, it's still been a crazy past few days...

An update on my cousin: Not good. =( She still has cancer, I assume the infections are still there, and the doctors have informed them there is nothing left they can do. Haven't heard anything since this update. I know she wants to go home, as she's been in the hospital since November - but I guess she is unable to walk at this point, and they probably won't let her leave until she can. She is a strong one, from a line of very strong and stubborn women, so we know the fight isn't over... But the set backs are very exhausting.

I honestly don't even remember this weekend, but I feel like we were busy. KR had of Friday; Thursday night we went out to eat Mexican (my request!) and it was DELICIOUS. That night I started hurting - and have been ever since. I am definitely limping about, but I really think it's because of the pain more than anything.

We did make it to Mass yesterday (yay!) but, I'm sad to report that I did not make it THROUGH Mass. There is no A/C here, and the room was fairly crowded. I started feeling funny, kinda light-headed, was hurting whether I stood or sat, and I could feel my feet swelling.  I forced myself to make it through Communion - and then we left. As soon as the fresh air hit me, I felt instantly better. I also have no been able to really sleep at night. I hurt, so rolling over/getting out of bed hurts, I can't get comfy, and apparently, I have some sort of allergy that leaves me stuffy and unable to breath (enough) through my nose. I wake up short of oxygen, hurting, needing to potty, or just plain uncomfortable. And lately, sometimes I can't fall BACK asleep, no matter how tired I really am, and just give up and hope I can catch a nap later. I know I need to get my sleep while I can, so it's VERY frustrating that I'm not able to anymore.

Today was my 38 week appointment. It went surprisingly well. I was measuring 37cm, which is smaller than what I measured 2 weeks ago when I was a tad big. Baby must have been sitting weird or who knows! Since I had been hurting, I decided to go ahead and get the internal exam, dreading it. Yeah, it's not very pleasant. Didn't quite expect that.  Either way, I sit at 1cm dilated, 75% effaced... which more than likely is WHY I started hurting... The doctor seemed surprised at that progress. The doctor said she even got a feel of the baby's head, which the baby did not like and kicked me when that happened. I, too, didn't like it, for the record.

Either way, could be any day, could be stuck like this for weeks. So we'll just see. Better get that bag together, though, just in case...

Easter Weekend

Forgive me, it's 1am, I'm tired, so chances are I'm just going to ramble.

Also, I apologize for the whining/rawr of the previous entry. Boredom + pregnancy hormones + emotions = bad news bears. The rest of the week has been well, though some bumps in progress for my cousin, keeping our fingers crossed ad prayers going for that.

Baby's 36 week appointment went well, though apparently I am measuring a TAD big - but still within range. Next appointment will be May 2, then every week after that.

I don't really know what happened to the rest of the week, though, as it didn't seem like we really did much...

I am definitely starting to slow down, generally am more tired and more uncomfortable, and officially am full term. When the EFF did that happen?! And why so quickly??

That means we're just over 2 months from KR's leaving. =/ Suck it, life. I hate you.

Got my driver's license here - still haven't driven. Another friend of our's headed back to the states on Thursday... Kinda jealous, but still not ready to go.

It's been too warm here... I don't like it. Definitely not looking forward to summer... the blackout curtains help tremendously, but it's STILL ridiculously warm when it's only 75 outside. Boo.

Ok, my brain is fuzz. I think it's time for bed.

Wa,wa,wa, I'm a little bitch.

Boredom. Not good. Idk what my problem is... I shouldn't be bored. I shouldn't have nothing to do that I'm sitting on the computer in the middle of the day playing stupid facebook games just to have something to do. It's either this or sit and watch whatever crap my husband hogs the TV all weekend long to watch. I'm so SICK of sitting and doing nothing. It's all I amount to, it seems. Wasting space on the fucking couch. Maybe I'll cook or clean a little bit, but rest assured, an hour later, I'm exhausting and needing a break. Ugh. I HATE this.

I have PLENTY to do, don't get me wrong.... But I just don't want to do any of it. And I'd like to work on some things WITH my husband. He's quite content sitting on the couch all weekend and at night during the week, too. He works all week, so who can blame him? (For the record, he helps me out if I ask or sometimes even when I don't, but that doesn't always make me feel better - sometimes it just makes me feel like a failure b/c then I really DO feel like I don't do anything if he's gotta do it...)

And I'm so sick of amounting to housework. Isn't that I went to college and took out over 40k in loans to earn a fucking degree? Why on earth am I amounting to laundry, sleeping all day, and BOREDOM - and the occasional breakdown from simply BEING so bored?

This entire weekend, I've maybe spent 3 hours doing something productive. A good chunk was asking my husband what he wanted to do, to which he never had an answer, and the rest moving from sitting on the couch, to sitting on the desktop, to skyping my cousin's husband on the laptop. My cousin, having just started her latest, most intense round of chemo feel asleep just as we signed on. =/ It's no wonder my body feels like it's deteriorating. It's probably actually is.

We don't go for walks, he only did the yoga thing with me once, we hardly ever go anywhere to just look around at stuff. So here I sit. Amounting to nothing. Waiting to have a child, so I can be left all alone in a foreign country to raise her by myself because our luck is just THAT fucking amazing. He couldn't have gotten picked when he volunteered to go, no, he has to go just a few weeks after his baby is born. Thanks a lot, life. Thanks.

We have, what? A little over 2 months left - if we're lucky - and he's watching TV on the couch while I sit on the computer in the other room quite literally bored to tears.

This is awesome.

...And it doesn't help worrying about my cousin and her hubby. It really is a miracle I haven't gone into preterm labor with all the shit that keeps happening.

Stressed!!!

Please keep my cousin, Carina, and her husband John in your prayers.

Her cancer is back, and she's still very weak from the last round of chemo and all the infections she got.

We got a message from John this morning asking if there was ANY way we'd be able to fly home to go visit her, and it was so chilling that I could not grasp whether it was real or a dream - "they say" she's not strong enough for chemo, but without it, the cancer will kill her. In any case, flying home is not an option for quite some time, and that breaks my heart. I have to keep this all factual, too, because if I let the emotions in there, I risk un-necessary stress on our baby girl and even preterm labor... So I try to know without knowing, but I think I'm starting to understand where all my scary dreams are coming from.

To stay or to go.

Well, things are certainly starting to get absolutely bonkers.  Last weekend was already almost a week ago, and everything went well, I'm glad to say. The house got a good scrub down, company was laid back and fun, and I completed crashed Sunday after spending 2.5 days running around cleaning and organizing and everything else. I am just barely starting to recover.

Next week is another busy week. Babysitting tomorrow night, shower Saturday, Monday we've gotta pick up my passport, Wednesday is my driver's test, Thursday is a class at the hospital, and Friday is my eye appointment. Phew.

I found new incentive to stay here and work: TRAVELING. We got the Kabel yesterday, and stupidly I perused through the magazine to see what trips were going to be happening in April & May, even though I totally knew I wouldn't be able to go on them.

And what did I find?

A dream come true trip that is only being offered this ONE time, and I swear I actually cried because I knew I wouldn't be able to go.

A Sound of Music themed overnight tour!

It would be a drive to Salzburg, Austria, a tour of some of the different places the movie was filmed at, including the gazebo where they filmed Going on 17, the lake everyone fell in, a look at their house, the church they filmed the wedding in, and the pathway Julie Andrews skipped up on her way up to the family's house. Not to mention walking time around Salzburg, overnight in a 4 star hotel, and another stop in another very long hard-to-pronounce town.

Seriously, you don't even know how badly I would LOVE to take this tour/trip. This being my favorite movie starring with my most respected actress/singer. If they offer this again, I WOULD go with my baby and be "that parent."

So that got me thinking. After KR gets back, we want to travel Europe, since we'll be PCSing in May or so of next year, and we have a nice long list of places we really want to go to, and know we will hardly ever be able to afford to come back to Europe unless we got based here again - the extent of the trips, of course, depending on fundage. However, if I STAYED here and worked, half my money would be to pay off my school loans, and the other half would be pure savings, aka TRAVELING. Then KR's paycheck could go to our REAL savings account. Oh, God, how TEMPTING that is!!!

However, it is really daunting thinking of all that frivolous traveling when we might not even get a paycheck next Friday due to a possible gov't shutdown. I love how leave is canceled and military members are forced to continue working; however, they won't receive their pay until a budget is passed.

And yet, companies like GE, makes over $10 billion dollars in pure profit, pay ZERO taxes on it, and still rake in $3.5 billion dollars worth of TAX BREAKS - which essentially means: The money we paid in taxes went to a company that already pocketed billions of dollars, instead of the health, safety, education, military and infrastructure of our beautiful country that desperately need attention and funding to function 100%.

And that was my political-ness for the day.

Hard to be indifferent when your livelihood depends on it, and you barely make above the level of poverty.