Reflections...

So last night, I reluctantly finished the last 50 pages in the tenth and last book in The Princess Diaries series.

And after getting strangely emotional (what was that all about?!), I opened the book and started reading it again.

Honestly.

I have never done this before, but I also had never read an entire series back-to-back in about a month. Maybe that's why, even though I'm 26 now (umm, how did that happen?!) and this book is considered age appropriate for 12 year olds, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it even more now than I did the first time around.

Of course, that shouldn't be surprising, seeing as the male lead character (Michael Moscovitz - also *swoon*) spends nearly 2 years apart from the female lead character (Mia Thermopolis), so that he can prove to himself and everybody else that he is worthy of dating a princess.

He leaves for her.

Of course, it's just a romantic notion (but not that intense break up during books 8-9), but let's face it.

I live that everyday.

Our running record for time together vs. time apart during our relationship is pretty pitiful.

Yes, I have actually done the math.

It's depressing.

(More on that later.)

Anyways, it's very emotional, all of this. And I forgot how good books were at reminding you where your priorities should be, and how important it is to take time out for yourself, instead of getting bogged down by the everyday tasks and the negative aspects in your life that you feel are holding you back from. Ya know. Living life. Truly living it.

Like a deployment.

Because it's very easy to whine and groan and be bored because I'm stuck without my husband for 6 months, but it's really, really hard to get myself out of that and actually do something with that extra time.

(Besides rereading a book series written for high schoolers, and that I should've been way over the lessons that book could give me. But whatever. It worked.)

And it's definitely hard to be married to someone who's life obviously overshadows mine and trying to build my own life & career around his schedule. (Not that I'm complaining - I am very proud of him and his accomplishes and totally understood what I was getting into, even if I didn't quite understand how hard that life would be.)

It's called dreams.

Everyone needs them.

And so, now there will be a slew of posts as I figure out some things I want need to be working towards again. I mean, when you think about it. My whole life I had things to work towards: high school graduation, college graduation, planning a wedding, moving overseas. (And of course all the crap in the middle.)A

And now?

Now it's time to get ME back on track.

Awkward. & The Princess Diaries

So, it became very obvious very quickly that a new solution to Evelyn's somewhat temporary sleeping arrangements was necessary.  She was screaming & fussing 2-3 hours every time I put her down for a nap or bed time. She was obviously tired, so I didn't understand why she was fighting it... And then it dawned on me.

She sleeping in a pack & play.

Which is basically cardboard on top of metal rods.

We were scared to transition to a toddler bed in my mother's not-so-toddler proof house, so thankfully, amazon came to my rescue! I researched solutions to my problem and came across a mattress sized to fit a pack & play.

But that pesky shipping takes so long... So I upgraded to the trial of amazon prime (amazing, by the way, if you have an extra $79/year to blow)

And voila! 2 days later, a mattress - and a sleeping, un-cranky child.

Praise God!

But with that amazing trial of amazon prime - besides the free 2 day shipping - came the streaming of movies and tv shows.

I found myself drawn towards MTV's Awkward. Because. You know. I'm awkward.

Instantly I was drawn in, experiencing a slight crush on one of the male characters, and that same giddy feeling when you read The Princess Diaries, especially book three.

I watched all of Awkward. in a matter of days. My mom, catching snip its from the show, was starting to worry about my mental health. Me? I was loving it!

So much so, I had my mom, who works at a library, check out The Princess Diaries for me to read. Again. Because... why not?  I am currently on number 8 of 10.  And just as I remembered, everything is so giddy, so dramatic, and such a big deal.

And it makes me smile.

Target Brag!

Ok, ok. I can't help myself.

I got some pretty AMAZING deals today at Target!

So glad I took the time to do a lap (or two) around the store and check on prices/clearance!

I got all of this...

for just 15.03 - including the tax!

~~~~~

Here's the breakdown:

• Bananas, $.57/lb, regular price
• Hashbrowns, $1.47, regular price
• 2 pairs of Chico toddler shorts, $3.50 each, clearance, 30% off
• 1 box Lipton pyramid tea, $1.07, clearance, 50% off
• 1 box Celestial Seasoning wellness tea, $1.18, clearance, 50% off
• $1 off 1 manufacture coupon = 18 cents!
• 2 Evol frozen entrees, $3.29, temporary price cut
• 2 - $1.50 off 1 Target coupons = $1.79 each
• Pantene shampoo, $2.84, instant substitute for a sold out sale item
• Pantene conditioner, $2.83, instant substitute for a sold out sale item
• $1 off 2 Target coupon = $4.67 for the pair
• Bogo manufacture coupon, redeemed by the cashier for full allowable amount ($4.99) = money maker for 32 cents!

I could have spent $30.70 before tax, but only spent $13.72 plus tax!

That is a savings of $16.98!

...And yes, I would have bought all of this anyways - not just because it was marked down.

I am one happy momma today!

(Well, the Starbucks treat receipt helps, too.)

Road Trip: June 2013

I love road trips! This one may have had a purpose - I was heading to my mom's for some time to break up this deployment - but we made sure to make a real trip out of it, with plenty of potential stops along the way.

(And lots of in-car amusement for the 2 year old.)

My nephew Richard & my sister Laura came out to help me make the drive, and that very same day, my daughter decided to get sick. Not "a fever/sleepy" kind of sick. The messy kind, where she want to cuddle up against you while she's doing it, kind of sick.

June 12, 2013.
We all camped out in the living room with Evelyn sleeping on the floor.

THANKFULLY, it passed in time to hit the road, but it sure gave mommy much undue stress and lack of sleep.

The first day went well - we managed to skid around some nasty storms, avoid the wildfires, and even get some hiking in on a short trails.

June 14, 2013.
Evelyn & Auntie Laura napping (or pretend napping) on the first day of our drive.

The only park we visited on our first day was Pecos National Historic Park in Pecos, New Mexico. There was a nice short trail - 2 year old friendly - with some old Indian ruins at the end.

June 14, 2013.
Pecos National Historic Site

June 14, 2013.
Pecos National Historic Site
The storm system we just missed had produced so much hail, it covered the ground and looked like snow. We actually saw a snow plow pushing it off the highway.

Parks we missed were: Capulin Volcano National Monument and Fort Union National Monument. Maybe on the way back!!

~~~~~

After a night of rest, we stopped to visit Petroglyph National Monument in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the very nice lady at the desk clearly does not understand that a "paved" path does not necessarily make it child friendly.

June 15, 2013.
Petroglyph National Monument
On a "paved trail" which was hardly paved. She was fine climbing up, but getting back down was quite a challenge!

After a few more hours of driving, we stopped at El Malpais National Monument & El Morro National Monument.

El Malpais was lava caves - and I sat out this park, since I would not be able to see much with a youngin' and there were a million bugs flying that I didn't want to deal with.

June 15, 2013.

El Morro was a park with a nice little kid-friendly trail which showcased Inscription Rock and the many inscriptions on it from people who passed through.

June 15, 2013.
El Morro National Monument
Beautiful signatures of passersby on Inscription Rock 

Our last stop of the day was Petrified Forest/Painted Desert National Park. I have visited here before, but they had not, and it is still beautiful as ever.

June 15, 2013.
Petrified Forest National Park

After the long haul to my mom's after that, we arrived around 9pm and hopefully on the drive back, we will be able to see some of the stuff we missed!

Blog Makeover!

So, in honor of my return from hiatus, I made-over my blog! Please enjoy pale blue chevrons and pink accents, which I did not realize were actually my style, but what I can say?

I enjoy retro/modern patterns.

I have a very, very odd sense of style.

~~~~~

The new name is inspired from... the thesaurus. I was originally trying to find a good word for "awkward" and while "schmaltzy" very nearly made the cut, I got stuck on the definition of moonstruck, and I thought that fit my anxious/awkward/dreamer/OCD personality quite well.

ENJOY!

Evelyn is 2 Years!

I cannot believe it has been 2 years since this little girl was born in Germany!

(well, 26 months, but only because mommy sucks at writing on time)

Oh, how far we have come!

And here are some updates, up to May 13, 2013!

~~~~~

Evelyn talks. A lot. About everything. You can make out a lot of words, but Lord knows what she's trying to say. She is definitely very sure of herself, though.

She can run now.

She loves to jump! And dance, and sing, and flip.

She loves blocks, coloring, hugs, and kisses.

I slightly suspect she may have OCD. She loves things in their own places. She is very particular.

She is stubborn.

She loves to drink MILK.

She is so happy. Usually.

But boy, can she scream.

~~~~~

Some pictures from ages 21-24 months:

February 25, 2013.
Playing in the snow for the first time.

March 13, 2013.
Evelyn & daddy helping mommy bake.

March 20, 2013.
Evelyn still enjoys sitting in/on various things.

March 31, 2013.
Hunting for eggs on Easter.

April 16, 2013.
First trip to the aquarium.

April 25, 2013.
Reading a book with daddy.

May 9, 2013.
Wearing mommy's boots around the house.

~~~~~

 And now for some pictures from her birthday party, which we celebrated on May 18, 2013.

May 18, 2013.
Sitting with Grandma Kathy while people sang to her. She was a little scared with
everyone gathered and singing.

May 18, 2013.
Evelyn opening her presents, while her aunt & cousin watch.

May 18, 2013.
Evelyn was so happy & thankful for her new presents!

Thank you to Evelyn's grandma, aunt, uncles, cousins, and friends who came to celebrate with us!

Hiatus

It appears that I suck at blogging lately. Mostly, I can't just get on the computer as easily as I used to (now that I have a very curious, active, sometimes mischievous 2 year old). I am very much behind on my updates, but here's a quick update and some future posts I have planned:

~~~~~

Evelyn is 2 Years Old!

Road Trip: June 2013

Awkward. & The Princess Diaries

Night Time Musings

~~~~~

I think that about covers it. Hope everyone is having a FABULOUS summer, and staying dry/cool/whatever the comfort you strive to achieve!

The Top 10 Benefits of a Deployment

There is basically nothing fun about preparing for a deployment - especially one in which you THINK you have it all planned out to make it as easy as you can on yourself, and the day before he leaves, they say, "Oh never mind you're not leaving yet, and we don't know when you will." And then you get about 48 hours' notice for when he does leave, and he ends up leaving the same day as your mom, who you had fly in for *2* weeks to help you when he left, and instead you totally have to say two huge goodbyes in the same day.

Yeah. That happened.

Welcome to the lives of many military spouses across the globe.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day, by the way!!

So this is for all of you out there who have had the pleasure of surviving the trials & triumphs of a deployment.

The Top 10 Benefits of a Deployment

10. You don't have to fight for the blankets in bed.

9. You get to listen to YOUR music in the car.

8. You can watch whatever you want on TV because you always have full control over the remote (unless a child sneaks it away from you!)

7. You have the car to use all day, everyday. No more figuring out the car situation. No more juggling rides to work.

6. Want Starbucks or Jamba Juice or ice cream? Go!

5. Less expenses... Maybe.

4. You only have to clean up after yourself... and your mini-me's. Somehow, though, that really does make a difference!

3. Don't feel like cooking (or cleaning)? Don't. Eat ice cream. Leave a mess. Anyone who's been there will understand, because they know how hard it can be some days.

2. Bored of whatever base your at? Take a vacation! If you're a stay at home spouse, you have 4-12 months of time at your disposal. Go crazy! Make the rounds to friends & family, or just take some time to break up the deployment.

And the number 1 benefit of a deployment?

If you want to rock out to old school boy bands while cooking dinner, you totally can. No one is going to judge you (except your children) and no one is going to make fun of you for still knowing every single word to every song by the Backstreet Boys.

Cooking Experiments: Guilt Free Banana Muffins

I love muffins.

Ok... I love bread!

So any time I can find a way to have bread that tastes amazing and doesn't make you feel guilty for eating carbs, I am all on that.

This recipe comes courtesy of my Betty Crocker App (which has actually led me to some pretty amazing recipes!), and I'll admit. I was a little skeptical at first...

There is not much flour, no oil, and no added sugar. And it's delicious!!! (Even 2 year old approved!)

What you need

2/3 cup all purpose flour

1/3 cup whole wheat flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp salt

1.5 cups mashed banana (apx. 3 bananas)

1 egg white (or 1 whole egg)

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions

1. Mix dry ingredients in bowl.

2. Mash banana. Note: You must be accurate on how much banana you have. Since this is both your sugar & oil, you need enough or the batter will be very dry. If you don't have enough bananas, you can use natural applesauce - or even pumpkin puree!

3. Add egg white (or whole egg - I used the whole egg) & vanilla.

4. Mix all ingredients. Pour in cupcake tins. (My batter only made 10 muffins.)

5. Bake at 365 for 15-17 minutes.

6. Cool completely before eating. Unless you are impatient (like me). They will stick to the cupcake liner until it has completely cooled.

And for an added twist, try adding diced fruit (or chocolate chips) in the batter - this time I used raspberries!

Big Changes Ahead

It is all happening too fast. It always does.

When big things are coming up in my life, I tend to reject them. I tend to freak out. I get angry and very anxious. So for the past oh... 5 months or so, I have been ignoring reality. Foolish me. Now I have a list of all the things that needs to get done before he leaves. It's not pretty.

Next month he leaves again. 

15 months home is not nearly long enough.

It still feels like he just got back.

And poor Evelyn is so happy with life right now. She is so comfortable in our place, in our routine, and things are about to go upside down on her. Again.

At least we have dodged her needing eye surgery... for the time being. We will check up again sometime in June.

Anyways, back to the leaving.

It's been quite disappointing on this end. Yes, he is leaving. Yes, we knew that it was possible.

That doesn't mean we're happy about it!

That doesn't mean it's not a big deal!

That doesn't mean we don't need help.

Or support.

Or sympathy from the people we thought we were closest too!

Thankfully, we live near some of our family.

So it won't be as bad as when we were living in Germany.

But that doesn't mean it's easy!

You know. No one is planning to come visit me while he's gone.

Except my mom.

I will be alone for 6 months, and no one is planning to visit me.

For 6 months, I do it all.

I kill the big spiders, take out the trash & recycling, pay all the bills.

I wake up with her every time.

I run all errands with her.

I make a life that has been torn apart, and somehow put it back together.

All while worrying about him, on the other side of the world.

Praying that I just might get to talk to him that week.

And that he'll be back when he said he will.

I'll sleep in the big empty bed.

Trying to remember what it feels like to cuddle up in his arms.

Or what it's like to sleep in, because he's nice enough to let me.

And how he helps me make dinner.

And watches her while I run to the store or the gym.

And never mind the events he will miss:

All birthdays...

Our Anniversary...

For 6 months, I am a single mom.

It's not like I have a choice.

~~~~~~~~~~

It's really not that hard to imagine how you would handle such a tragic event, if it were to happen to you. But yet... No one can, unless they've lived it. No one seems to realize how emotional, how scarring this is.

How much it hurts to know that no one plans to visit.

I don't do it because I want to.

Or because I like to challenge myself.

I do it because I love him. 

Something no civilian will ever completely understand.

Pinterest Fun: Pizza Rolls

My husband loves pepperoni, so any excuse I can find for him to eat pepperoni, I take it.

Unfortunately, this "meal" is more like an unhealthy appetizer, but extremely addicting. I've made it at least 3 times so far...

Adapted from Bo's Bowl.

Ingredient List:

1 package crescent rolls - you'll want the big & buttery. They're larger than normal crescent rolls, and so give you more room to put things in.
Pepperoni
4 cheesesticks
Peppers (optional)
Garlic powder
Oregano

Here we go!

1. Roll out your crescent rolls - stretch them a bit for extra room. (Don't cringe when the container "pops"!)

 2. Add your fillings.

3. Roll and spread out on a pan.

4.  Sprinkle oregano & garlic on top of rolls.

5. Bake according to the directions on the crescent rolls.  

Enjoy!

Working Mom 101

I went to a private college-prep high school, and with that means one thing: Expectations are ridiculously high.

Don't get me wrong; I loved my high school and was beyond prepared for college! But since I started working during college, I've had the longing to return to being a financial a supporter of my family. Even with a crazy one year old, a military lifestyle, a house, millions of projects that never get finished... I wanted more.

So back at the beginning of December, I applied for a job - in my degree field! It started at a great pay (for what I do), and while that job had no promotional opportunities, the experience alone would open up more jobs. I started off with a time line in my head of how long this would all take - because I knew that coming up in spring/summer, things would get way crazy, and I wanted to be adjusted long before that.

Well, folks, what do we know about life?

Nothing ever goes as planned!

Yes, and I definitely know that; I definitely expect that, but what I am not good at?

Handling it while it's happening.

HORRIBLE at that part.

I was not interviewed until nearly 2 months after I put in my application, which was a few weeks after I thought I'd already be working.

A couple weeks later, I heard back. I had to have a background check and other things, so the person I talked to made it sound like it would take a few weeks before I'd hear back for paperwork & orientation.

I was also told the wait list for a slot for my daughter was going to take a while, too.

Nope, instead I had about 20 hours notice to start the job. I panicked trying to find someone to watch my daughter. Finally called them to tell them I could not start so soon, and they tell me, "well, we've moved kids around so you can bring in her in tomorrow."

Ok. Me? I don't deal well with big, quick changes. I need time to process or else I would have done one major thing differently: I would have declined the job from the get go, and applied again in a few months.

Why?

Because I was so excited about the JOB that I completely neglected to realized how much the rest of my life was creeping up on me. =/

Between now & the end of April:

* 3 separate trips of family members coming to visit.
* Moving to NCO housing (hopefully)
* Evelyn's surgery for her eye (confirmed in a couple weeks)
* Hubby leaves for a deployment

3 out of 4 of these MAJOR things are happening before the middle of April.

What I didn't realize? That the middle of April is less than 2 months away!

So I handled it the best I could: I cried. A lot. I panicked. I didn't sleep.

Then I explained our situation to the person who hired me.

I had to walk away.

I was finally excited about something for ME, and I had to walk away.

But the truth is, there is no way I could drive Kyle to the airport and say good bye for 6 months and then head to work like nothing happened. It doesn't work that way. You're lucky if you can drive home without breaking down, let alone get through the day with the bare minimum requirements (food & diaper changes for the little one). Hell, you spend days - maybe even weeks - not sleeping, very emotional, relearning how to do every last chore in your house, because there is no one there to help you. There is no one who comes home for lunch or after work to help break up your day. There is no one to watch the kid while you go grocery shopping or the gym... Or to grab that one thing you always forget upstairs. It's just you. In your house. All alone. And while I want to think I'm strong enough to just plow through and "distract" myself - there is not one thing that can distract you enough. Not when half your heart is on the other side of the world and you don't know the next time you'll be able to talk  - let alone see him.

So as much as I wanted that job for me, I turned down that job for me. So I can cope, I can adjust - and Evelyn can adjust - in our own time, in our own space, on our own schedule. And if you can't understand how important that is? Then please, get out of my life. I only need supporters at this point.

Evelyn is 21 Months!!!

On February 13, Evelyn turned 21 months! I can't believe we are officially less than 3 months away from this little girl's 2nd birthday!!!

Here are some updates on Evelyn!

Evelyn is getting really good at using utensils when she eats - though she still prefers her hands sometimes, simply because it's faster.

We have been spending more time coloring lately. She is still choosing a hand, but it seems she prefers her left hand so far.

12/20/2012

Evelyn is a very independent girl. She loves to do things herself - but will ask for help if she needs it (once you remind her and she screeches in frustration).

Evelyn can take off all her clothes with minimal effort. This includes her diaper. We have to use gorilla tape across the velcro strips to encourage her to keep her diaper on. This seems to have worked... for now.

2/03/2013. Notice the blanket, stuffed animals, pajamas, and diaper are thrown on the floor...

We have started potty training. She shows some signs of readiness, but mostly has the interest in the potty. This has been put on hold the past few weeks due to some complications in life. We'll see how it picks up.

Evelyn loves to talk! She has a lot of words in her vocabulary - too many to list. I have had people ask me if she's 3...

She very much has been working on her gross motor skills these past few months. She LOVES to climb on everything!

1/21/2013. She knows what she wants - the big slide!

1/21/2013. Whee!

1/23/2013. Our lovely friends gave us a slide their child outgrew - so we have a slide inside, outside, and small playgrounds near our house. She loves to play outside!

She can now JUMP!

She stills rocks out to music - even commercials with music.

She will sing along to songs, too - especially Taylor Swift. Sometimes she just sings along with the bass line.

We have really tightened up on using time-out in our house. As she approaches two, she is definitely resisting, but this is what it's supposed to look like:

12/23/2012. Her usual infractions include: not listening, "talking back" (screeching at us when we tell her to do something), and climbing on the couch & touching things that are not hers.

She has been acting out lots of things lately. She pretends many toys are phones, she has a stethoscope and she "listens" to our hearts, and here, she feeds her baby.

12/26/2012

She is starting to show more interest in the television, so I have to be careful about leaving it on for background noise like I usually do!

She loves to move around her bins and sit in them. They must be comfortable.

11/26/2012

2/14/2013

She loooooves cuddles with daddy!

12/26/2012

She helps do the laundry.

2/03/2013

2/03/2013

She's a bit picky about food - not too willing to try new things. She prefers milk over juice & water.

She wears mostly 24m/2T clothes all around, and size 4 diapers.

Evelyn has started wearing an eye patch over her right eye for a few hours a day to help strengthen the muscles in her left eye. We bought her these super cute patches, and let her choose which design she wears each day - she loves it!

2/16/2013

Until next time... when she's 2!

Christmas 2012

This past Christmas was our FIRST Christmas as a family! At least... on the actual day of Christmas, so we were super excited to get to spend the actual day together!

Christmas Morning 2012

We are so loved and had such a wonderful Christmas! We went to church, and opened presents rather late in the day, but Evelyn was quite content, because she was all about that slide!

So here are some highlights of our first "real" Christmas together!

We opened gifts from Grandpa & Granny Jo on Skype when we first woke up. This is a vet's kit. The stethoscope is her favorite toy from this!

She loooooves the bristle blocks! Everyday we find them hiding all over the house!

Best adult gift ever! This thing is a life saver for our floors - not so much for the energy bill.

All the other gifts we opened after church! This is her baby doll from Great Grandpa & Grandma Riley.

Elmo with zippers, velcro, and snaps from Auntie Laura. A big hit!!

Doll house from Santa.

Mommy's special gift from Daddy - a Kitchen-aid Stand-up Mixer! I still need to try this baby out!

Fingerpaints!

Daddy found banana bread beer in his stocking - yum!