Flip-flopper!

Still flip-flopping on what to do while hubby is gone. It's kinda funny, really, how quickly my mind changes. Stay here, go home, go home for a little while, come back and work... Or simply, "NO FUCKING WAY AM I STAYING HERE I'M GONE AS SOON AS THE BABY'S PAPERWORK COMES AND I CAN LEAVE."

...I'm pretty sure the pregnancy hormones contribute to the quick change of heart.

Depending on how long that paperwork takes, though, there is talk about a road trip from Baltimore to Chicago, then possibly flying with my sister to AZ, and then even visiting GA again at some point with mom - or maybe San Antonio, depending on when Anthony graduates from boot camp. That does make things more tempting and interested - and exciting. Getting to see everybody would help, rather than just being stuck at my mom's house doing the same thing I'd be doing here. Yup, all that traveling with an infant; I do realize how crazy I am. What's the worst that could happen? She'll scream; I'll get flustered; people will stare. Then everyone will move along.

Buuuuut all that won't be known until last minute. Thank God I've accepted that life doesn't work as planned so plans have sorta stopped, and winging it is the name of the game.

Furniture is finally ALL here, all finished, and undamaged. Looks great, and now we have something REAL in our room beside built ins and plastic storage. =) Plus the smell of pine is great!

Working on decorations for the living room and baby's room; our bedroom will be last. Our super cool artistic mirror wall idea failed. Found out the wall we wanted it on is concrete and ain't nothing getting hunt on that wall...

Also, I love my husband.

He came home Friday, and surprised me with Disney Sing It: Family Hits!

Yes, the one with the songs from the Lion King, Beauty & the Beast, etc. on it.

It is basically amazing.

Well, well, well.

Just truckin' along with life. Trying to keep my energy up, so that I can be productive and get this place organized and pretty and everything else.

Currently on my list of cute things I want to buy:

1. Those cute flower chair pads I saw at the German furniture store... Seriously, I want them, but I feel stupid asking KR if we can go back just to buy 40 euro worth of super cute chair pads...
2. Quote wall decal for the wall we wanted the wavey mirrors on, but are not able to put ANY kind of screw/nail into that wall (ugh). Also managed to find some I want for OUR room... and maybe for the baby's room too... At least they aren't that expensive!
3. A bed in a bag for us, b/c we just have sheets and an awesome down comforter, but it's almost too warm for the down comforter, and a bedskirt would be nice to hide our box spring now that we have some real furniture.
4. A 16x24 picture frame for our giant wedding picture.
5. Lamps for our new nightstands, though this isn't a huge deal, as we have a lamp that serves it's purpose, but is definitely not something we want for long term! ...I'd love Dale Tiffany lamps, but I worry about them being moved and such. They are still gorgeous, none the less, no matter how expensive they are... I just LOVE the blown glass.

I want this place looking less institutional and more homey before KR leaves. I don't need a LOT of decorations, but enough so that it seems that we are actually "moved in," and comfortable in our space, and settled instead of stuck in limbo. That stability, I need now more than ever - even if it's just stuff on the walls... It really, really helps with me being stuck home a lot. Esp. now that KR is working 6a-6p everyday until further notice - no days off or anything scheduled), so spending more time alone in the house with not very much to do get to me. I am at least being somewhat productive instead of just being bored and depressed like before, but my energy drains quickly, and I can't get as much done as I want too.

I have plenty of other lists that I need to get accomplished (but first MADE, haha) but it seems rather daunting at this point as I see so much needs to get done with so little time left.

Hectic Grown-Up Life

"Real life" seems to have hit hard, lately. Not just for us, it seems for all the people that we close with.  Illnesses, marriages, babies, graduating colleges, deployments, job offers (or lack of), tight budgets, hospital visits... All in about a years time it went from carefree college life to that. How and why did that happen so suddenly?

In other news:

Baby's 32 week check up went well. Asked how she was sitting b/c I haven't been able to figure it out. Now I know. =)

Still deciding on what to do while hubby's gone for his deployment. There is a lot to consider, but I know one thing: I do not want to be alone here for 6 months (so thankful it's only 6 months). So now it's just figuring out the logistics on how to get back, how long to be gone, and stuff like that. I wish that I were strong enough to stay here the entire time so as not to affect the baby's schedule and not have to worry about traveling so far with a newborn, but I just don't think I have that kind of strength in me to manage. It's not like people will be able to afford to fly out and stay with me a few weeks at a time to help out. No, I'd go from couple with a newborn, to single mother in a foreign country with a newborn overnight. Quite literally.

We are also getting some bedroom furniture delivered tomorrow, yay for a real nightstands and a pretty dresser and mirror to put in our room! They didn't have the bed frame fully in stock, so we'll be searching for one to "match" later on. I don't mind eclectic furniture!

Guess it's dinner-making time... Any suggestions?

Crazy Week, Only 4 Months Left.

Ok. Sooo. Crazy Week. I don't think it's going to get any better on the chaos train for quite some time.

But to the GOOD news, first:

So my cousin is going much better - so thanks to those who visited her and kept her and her family in their prayers. She is still in the ICU, but has been declared infection free, cancer free, and is off all life-supporting measures. She is awake and stable on her own, despite the unlikelihood. They are keeping an eye on her for a few days, and hoping to do her stem cell transplant as soon as she's strong enough.

Monday night, KR found out just before bed that his dog at his mom's house was put down. So he went to bed rather upset, and of course didn't sleep well.

Tuesday morning was no walk in the park, either.

Monday night, KR informed me he had so not so great news to share with me, and I avoided it fearing the worst. I've been having that "feeling" lately, and didn't want to be depressed all night when he said the words. I ended up being wrong about THIS news, but the nagging feeling still got me.

So Tuesday when he got home, I was sitting on the floor going through my millions of coupons, and asked him how his day was. "I've had better," he says. He sits down next to me (though on the couch), and starts... stroking? my arm. In a clingy way. I immediately knew something was up - not because he was being sweet, he is really great at that, but because something was off. I said, reluctantly, "Why are you being clingy?" He replies:

"Well, you know how you always want Chik-fil-a? Well, there might be a way for you to have it soon..."

My eyes widen, my heart sinks, my face drops. "WHY" It wasn't a question; I already knew the answer. He looks down.

"I was tasked for my deployment today."

4 months. We have approximately 4 months before we have to say goodbye - again. Only this time, I'm left in a foreign country with a newborn. Sure, it's shorter this time than in the past - but now we are married, we will have a baby, and he will be in the Middle East, not Europe. And don't even get me started on all the things he will miss.

Note: for those of you who know me in real life, please keep this low-key, off facebook, and to yourself for now. We haven't told everybody in our families yet, and for obvious reasons, we are not looking forward to it.

Rough day.

But more on that later.

Update: My cousin is stable now - on her own, but things are still very, very questionable, so we're all trying not to get our hopes up too much.

On a semi-related note:

When exactly did we all grow up?

Seems like LIFE has hit REALLY hard lately.

*le sigh*

Prayer for my cousin

Today was a great day... Good mood, nice weather. Got ourselves some bedrooms furniture for a decent price, ate out to eat (at Taco Bell), lots of smiles and such. Made a plan for tomorrow to hit the baby sale at the BX. We are excited.

Got home and I had a text from Taryn, updating me on my cousin, Carina.

To recap: not that I have really mentioned this at ALL, but my cousin Carina, who is married to our friend John (married in September & we missed their wedding =/ ) was diagnosed with leukemia last February. She was diagnosed with the type of leukemia that has the highest rate of survival. She was in remission in April, still going through treatments over the summer, wedding in September, and then the cancer was back in November, I think. She has been in the hospital since November. She is technically cancer-free right now (yay!) but she has been hit with a slew of infections that are putting a great wear on her body. =/

It started with an infection in a port they had put in her chest. They had to take it out, pump her with antibiotics, and who knows what else. The infection spread. Keep in mind, part of leukemia is basically losing your immunity. She had NO immune system - hardly any white blood cells to fight off anything. The tiniest germs to you or me could leave her sick for weeks. She had a white blood cell transplant scheduled, but they couldn't do it until the infections were under control. That's why she stayed in the hospital, on her "locked in" floor - extra precautions were taken to keep germs away, plus she wasn't in the outside world exposed to everybody else's germs.

She then got meningitis a week or two ago. That's bad. John was then put in charge of all her medical decisions because she was no longer capable to make them herself. They had to put a port in her head to give her the meds she needed - an IV wouldn't work for this one. That surgery went fine. Then they found out she had pneumonia, and possibly fluid in her aortic valve, too.

This morning she went into systemic shock, she went to the ICU and they're trying to stabilize her. It's not looking good right now. It's just a waiting game. She is 22 years old. Her husband John has been strongly waiting by her side, working hard to pay the bills, spending as much time with her as he can. They quite literally fell in love at first sight - and I didn't even believe in that. I regret missing their wedding, but there was nothing we could do about it. The pictures were beautiful. They are so happy together, and deserve to simply live a normal life, enjoying each other's company in their own space - not a hospital.

My prayers tonight and this weekend are to her, John, and their immediate families. She comes from a tough line of stubborn, strong blood, so here's to seeing her pull through and living the life she deserves.

March, already!

Another week (and a half) passes, another month begins... and that much closer to the arrival of our baby girl.

No names yet, still. We've started asking her. She is just as indecisive as her mother.

We've been at a standstill lately, when it comes to getting stuff for our place. Otherwise, we are making progress on the "new friends" front. It is very nice to know I have some people to see on the weekends. I am still seriously sucking at getting this place organized. I'm starting to hit that "always exhausted" thing again, and that is no fun. I always forget my iron pill, too, and I'm sure that's no good either. Oops!

Other than that, I guess nothing's really going on... I do hope everyone's having a great week!