Newbie in Life

Seriously. It's taken me HOURS to get this damn thing set up. And all I wanted was a place to get my thoughts out! And now I begin to type the page of my life for complete strangers to see - or perhaps nobody at all. I don't really care. I just need to process the thoughts somehow.

I cannot believe how much my life has changed in the past 3 months.  I have been out of work officially since April, unofficially since the beginning of February. I am about going mad from being home some much.  I got married, I moved to the other side of the pond. I have officially become second to my husband's job, but that's part of the territory. It's taken a whole 2+ months of being here to get the paperwork done, but it is done and I officially am able to start applying for jobs and getting some things in order.

Unfortunately, we got in a car accident last week and everything's up in the air now.  We don't know if we'll be able to keep the car or have to buy a new one - and either way, we're struggling until the next paycheck and will have to play catch up for a few months until we can feel a little more "safe."

I feel like a complete outsider here. We don't live on base. I don't have a license. I don't know which direction is which. Life is so depressing lately, but I know it's just temporary. I love being here for my husband, and he is so amazing to me, and I am so fortunate for everything.  But I think I'm eager for some changes that will make my life a lot more comfortable. It's so exhausting being continuously on the outside. Or maybe I'm just exhausted because we're still sleeping on the government issued bed that's only a full size bed and as hard as a rock. Our mattress is FINALLY able to be delivered because the road is FINALLY semi-open to traffic. That's only taken a month and a half... I am so stoked for our mattress, you don't even know! We have been talking about getting on the waiting list to get on base. I think it's growing on the hubs because of everything that keeps breaking at our apartment. It's so roomy, 3 beds/2 baths, and to get on base we will downgrade to 2 beds/1bath but I just need some sort of... independence? I could potentially end up walking to work - how great would that be?! And I'd be near places to go and things like that. We have NO STORAGE in this place, and as a result, one bedroom is entirely dedicated to everything we don't have a place for. It's just strewn in there... a huge mess. I never even got to clean that room because it was that way when I got here. I'm so scared to see how much dust and shit is living in there... I just need to feel more comfortable in my surroundings. I know kyle thinks I'm absolutely crazy, but I am trying too hard to keep this place a little too clean and some things are really bothering me because I just physically cannot keep it the way I'd like too...

Wowsers, let the stereotypical bitching blogger begin! That was not my intent when I set out on this endeavor though. If you read this, congrats - I really am a happy person, just need to get some thoughts out there!